November 30, 2023

Dear Vespertine, What sex toys do you recommend for menopausal women?

By Jaime Jaynes
Dear Vespertine, What sex toys do you recommend for menopausal women?
There is a well-known orgasm gap between men and women – and research suggests that around 80% of women never orgasm through penetration alone, which is where vibrators come in and why we recommend them for physical therapy.
It can be daunting buying a vibrator, especially if it’s not something you’ve done before. But, as well as helping you explore new sensations, using a vibrator increases blood flow to your vulva and vagina – increasing sensitivity and helping you reach new pleasure highs.
Pom by Dame is a super soft, flexible and water-safe all purpose vibrator which is a great place to start. It offers different vibration patterns so you can choose your preferred speed and intensity, and its curved design means it’s perfect for trying on your own or with a partner.
Dilators are tube-shaped devices that are available in a range of sizes (from finger-size to much larger) and can be prescribed by your doctor. They can help with adhesion and scar management, but it also helps reduce anxiety and increase confidence in avoiding painful sex or smear tests.  We highly recommend trying medical grade silicone dilators by Intimate Rose.
If you’re finding deep penetrative sex uncomfortable, the anxiety can feed into a cycle of muscle contraction and further pain. Ohnut is a revolutionary wearable solution that allows you to explore different penetration depths. It’s made of four silicone stacking rings that sit at the base of the penetrating partner to create a comfortable cushion and allows you to enjoy as much – or as little – penetration as you like.
Due to the natural decline in vaginal lubrication during the menopause, learning how to overcome vaginal dryness and investing in a good quality lube is more important than ever to help you have the best menopausal sex. We have several to choose from!  We are especially excited about a new organic collection by Sliquid that is gentle on the skin and glycerin-free. 
Please stop in to ask our friendly staff to consult with you on options to improve sex while navigating menopause.  We also refer out customers to professionals in our healthcare network who can assist if an exam is necessary.  We are happy to assist you in our store, on the phone, or meet you for a private appointment.  Just reach out to us at  We want to help!
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